Sure Gays Can Marry

Supporters of the ban say that gay people can, in fact, get married. As long as they marry someone of the opposite sex. Says the Family Research Institute in their Q&A linked from their home page:
Every citizen has equal access to marriage, and everyone is equally subject to its restrictions. In our state, each person must meet four criteria in order to marry: 1) must not be already married, 2) must be at 18 years old and marrying someone at least 18, 3) must marry someone who is not a close relative (second cousin) and 4) must marry someone of the opposite sex.
I’ve always laughed off this argument for obvious reasons. But recently, I started seriously thinking about how marrying someone of the opposite sex could actually be a good thing. Not for me, but for my partner, Megan.

You see, Megan and I are great friends with a wonderful gay couple. Trevor and James are a stable, intelligent, fun pair, and Trevor, like Megan, is in the dissertating stage of a PhD program. Like us, the couple are starting to plan a family--we often fantasize about an idyllic schedule where we’d never have to send any of our kids to day care because one of the four of us would be able work from home at any given time. At the very least, it’s both fun and reassuring to imagine our kids growing up together.

The thing is, once Megan and Trevor are on the job market, there’s no telling where any of us will end up. Most likely Megan will get a job on one side of the country, and Trevor on the other.

But if Trevor and Megan got married, it would be a different story.

Universities typically “joint hire” faculty, meaning if they hire one person in a married relationship, they’ll hire the spouse as well. Essentially, if Megan and Trevor married, it would solve three problems: 1) the four of us could live and raise our children in the same city, 2) because of the joint hire, only one of them actually needs to land a job, and 3) if it so happens that they both get job offers at the same time we can collectively choose the better of the two offers.

Then, after we’re all happily settled in our new homes and have worked out the day care schedule, Megan and Trevor would amicably divorce. Maybe it’s not the most ethical solution, but at least it’s legal in all 50 states.

Would we do this? There are days working on this campaign when I think I absolutely would. But will we really do this?

Probably not. Frankly, despite what the opposition thinks, marriage means more to me than getting rights and benefits.

In fact, marriage is an institution I really don’t want to mess with at all. I take marriage and all of its rights—and responsibilities—very seriously. I just want for me and the person I am utterly committed to, to be able to enter into together. After all, isn’t it more beneficial to the state, to society, and to the whole institution of marriage for me to marry the person with whom I will spend my life and raise my children?

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At 11:53 AM, Anonymous Kent said...

Your argument is a good one. Sadly, the type of people who run the "Family Research" type organizations, would be happy if homosexuals married heterosexuals even if that union produce an unhappy family dynamic. They would rather have unhappy married folks raising unhappy children just so they can see that "marriage works". Now get to church and give us money.

I for one would have considered your hypothetical arrangement at one time in my life. No longer. I like you, feel that marriage and its benefits and responsibilities are too important to muck with. That is why my partner and I, well, my husband and I when through the burden of taking time off work, spending loads of money and when to another country to get married. That was a commitment in and of itself. Some state agencies may not recognize our union but I will no longer refer to myself as single. At least as far as half a dozen or more other countries are concerned, I AM married. These hateful bigots will never be able to change that little fact.


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