Blog Debate: My Rebuttal to Question 2

Now for my rebuttal to Owen's response. Again, we only have 250 words here, which means a sprint from beginning to end.


Owen cites the Massachusetts example and claims the same thing will absolutely happen here if we don’t amend our constitution. My own answer addresses this concern. But as we've been saying, this ban is about so much more than marriage. This isn't a referendum on judges in Massachusetts. This is about families in Wisconsin.

The effects of the ban will be felt most immediately and concretely by lesbian and gay families. Most married couples won't know the difference. Gay couples won't only be stigmatized; they will also lose the hope of civil unions--even ten or twenty years from now. And the current legal arrangements of all unmarried couples will be jeopardized.

When thinking about the ban’s legal effects, voters need to weigh all of this.

Now, two additional points:
If the State of Wisconsin wants to extend insurance coverage to anyone who cohabitates, then that’s fine, but it would also have to include unmarried couples and roommates who are cohabitating . . .
Domestic partner policies--whether through cities like Madison and Milwaukee (pdf), or private employers--require couples to demonstrate a shared life together. Sometimes, that means they must sign an affadavit and prove they share finances (bank accounts, leases). In other words, they must demonstrate their long-term commitment and the marriage-like nature of their relationship. These policies are not intended for sisters or roommates: we’re talking about committed couples. Relationships between committed couples--gay or straight--are nothing like those between siblings or roommates.
I ardently oppose civil marriage being redefined by a court instead of through a representative process.
A “yes” vote stops the representative process from taking place. If we believe lawmakers should decide, then we should let them--now and in the future.


At 8:05 AM, Blogger Kent Walker said...

I would also like to point out that some of us have gone even further than "an affidavit" or a domestic partnership paper. My husband and I went to Canada as a significant expense to have a legal marriage. Isn't it a shame that we had to leave OUR country to prove to our loved ones and the world that our commitment is loving, valid and just as important as my straight next-door neighbor that can do the same for 25 bucks at city hall? Our families and friends traveled to Canada too to witness our commitment.

I am not saying that other countries laws should necessarily mold or modify ours but it isn't an insignificant number of other countries that have validated our marriage as wholesome and good.

We chose to go to Canada so that we can honestly say, we ARE committed to a life together. We are not "simply interested in benefits" yet we realize that our lives together can be damaged or jeopardized by not having the benefits that other couples get. It is a dangerous financially hazardous world out there and the laws recognize that two is stronger than one. Benefits were created to help strengthen these unions.

Also, please don't forget, I didn't choose to be gay. I was born gay. I did choose to live openly and honestly and will not hide or be ashamed even if our fellow citizens want to demonize me or try to portray me as something other than a good person. This is why I fight for these rights.

I know I would never go on a crusade against these Christians and Christian groups (I know it is not just Christians), though their beliefs violate MY values. We need to uphold one another.

I could go on and on but right now, I am just frustrated at the lack of compassion and care that some are displaying. Treating my family, my union, my love as if it is nothing. And for what? why?

At 4:40 PM, Anonymous Keith said...


If you live in Wisconsin, here is an odd suggestion. And I make the suggestion to Dave who often posts here as well.

Do you realize that your Canadian marriage makes you a criminal under current Wisconsin state law? Theoretically, you could be picked up for speeding and the officer could arrest you, put you in jail, and a judge could levy a significant fine on you.

That is quite literally the ONLY thing that your marriage has bought you in Wisconsin.

Ever consider offering yourself up to the media, and volunteer to be arrested?

At 4:43 PM, Anonymous Keith said...

By the way, Ingrid. Beautiful response.

We must keep reminding people that we are not fighting for marriage. We are fighting for our very survival!

I have been surprised time and time again, as I talk to people about the amendment. When I start to describe the legal and financial houses of cards that gay families build, people at first are overwhelmed. It never ever ever occured to them that we need to do these things!

Keep it up!

At 6:14 AM, Blogger Kent Walker said...

No Keith, I can honestly say that I have not considered getting arrested. However, now that you bring it up, I will educate myself on the law and might do just what you are suggesting.

Wow, I never knew that being myself, being normal and doing NOTHING wrong could be so.. so, illegal.


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